40 Overs per side

Dartford Postal 257-?
New Ash Green 171 all out.
New Ash Green lost by 86 runs

Report by James 'Who gave me these Jokers' Hewitt

For the last few years getting teams out for mid-week fixtures has been a constant thorn in the side of NAG selectors. This game was no exception as the number of fielders at the disposal of Skipper James Hewitt went up and down like a pair of whores undies.

Having lost the toss and been asked to field NAG took the field against a strong looking Postal side with 8 players. That soon went up to ten when Ian Crouch offered the services of himself and Les Packman to assist. Then as Hewitt took the first wicket with a stunning catch at mid on from Arun (any catch I take is stunning) Daniels, Crouch went to pad -up and so it was back to nine. Then enter Andy Mayers, 10, and then enter Andy (Sumo spectator and potential participant) Payne.......to make a full quota!!!!!!!!!

Exit Packman. Back down to ten.

With thirteen overs remaining Alan Cottrell arrived and he was soon into the action from the Golf Course end bowling his normal reliable deliveries. Unfortunately Alan showed the reason he took up umpiring by being hit to all parts of the pitch as he went for 59 runs in six generous overs. The only thing that was in more danger than a record total were the crown green bowlers adjacent to the pitch. Cottrell commented "Phew...That wasn't too bad, at one point I thought I was going to go for more runs than I did at Stamford-Le-Hope."

It was only the masterly bowling skill of Domonic (I'll bowl while he isn't watching) Adolphe and the fielding of Mayers that kept Postal to 257 in their allotted 40 overs.

"Stretching but achievable" were the words uttered by Hewitt at tea.

As the sausages, chips and beans of tea were being digested it was down to Hewitt to craft a Will Carling style team talk to rally his charges and try to inspire them to scoring these runs. Andy Payne and Adolphe started off very well giving the spin bowlers of Postal no respect and offering Cottrell a bit of "Well my bowling has made a game of it" ammunition in his excuses.

However after Payne went for an impressive and quick fire 34 (his first innings since spending the previous six months in Japan) it was just down to the rest of the team to undertake the 'get padded up, go out to bat, reach double figures and get out' theory of finishing the game early and getting into the bar and watching England give those Grecians a taste of their Bulldog spirit.

Even though NAG lost by 86 runs this squad scored more runs than the 1st XI had in any league game this season.

James Hewitt said after the game "It was a good game, I thought Steven Gerrard played well and Beckham's goal was a scorcher."

Editors Note: Since this match report was posted we have received the following comment/correction:

Yours faithfully