Following an unseemly dispute as to who should take the minutes it was decided that there should be competitive minute taking. Both Matt Evans and Rollo Wicksteed took minutes and when both are available they will both be posted and members can choose which they think should become the official minutes. As Matt has a technological lead over Rollo his minutes are available first, and they appear below. Anyone who speaks to Rollo might like to remind him that I am waiting for his version!
STONER CRICKET CLUB ANNUAL GENERAL MEETING
JULY 27TH 2001
MATT (The Bowler)
What's his name (the Wicketkeeper)
VENUE The Tent Memorial Pitch Time 10.05
The AGM was delayed by 5 minutes due to the late arrival of Matthew Quantrill, there was a lot of tut-tutting and shaking of heads from the members, Matthew's excuse was he had to fight his way past a host of Vietcong located in the undergrowth just beyond the memorial pitch. The Bursar pointed out that they are Korean Students and sleep 3 to the bed thus almost trebling his income.
Democracy was, in the tradition of Stoner Cricket Club, overruled and Derek Roberts elected himself to the chair. Wicksteed and Evans agreed to take minutes from their differing perspectives at either end of the known Universe.
Matthew Quantrill, read the minutes (whose author remained unknown) but (clearly more used to voicing his opinion in Maidstone Crown Court) was unable to restrain himself from injecting his own thoughts and personal beliefs. This much to the chagrin of the Bursar, who used to dealing with the profit and loss accounts, was unhappy with the diversification from the facts.
Points arising from the minutes clearly had a few members ruffled.
The bat box renamed last year the Wagtail box had indeed been home to a pair of nesting Wagtails. Roberts senior, pleased with this success proposed to rename it the Golden eagle box, in the hope of attracting the UK's largest Raptor to nest there, this had the Twitchers in the membership salivating in eager anticipation. Wicksteed gleefully pointed out that the Rabbit population might also be controlled, (although no rabbits had been seen this year, a fact probably more attributable to the Bursar's Koreans than to a bird of prey).
Ben suggested it be called the Dodo box, this was ignored as being rather stupid, as everyone knows the Dodo can't fly!
Connor was asked about the Stoner golf match, the prize of a putter had been replaced by a carbon fibre 7 iron for reasons unknown, however as yet Connor had only asked his friends to play. However if three more Stoner members wished to participate he'd have enough for a 4 ball. The Bursar was keen to know if Bacon butties were to be served and if it was a Texas scramble, Connor felt bacon rolls was a possibility but eggs might be harder to find.
News filtered into the AGM that Charlie had lost his bucket, members looked knowingly at the Bursar questioning the wisdom of Korean Students.
At this point it was remembered that Miss Sanger (the Bursar's secretary) had written the minutes. The President asked if Miss Sanger had a first name, the Bursar was unsure, Rollo, going misty eyed said her name was Wendy. Asked if he knew her well, Rollo claimed he had dealings. The Bursar (rather put out) requested an introduction to Miss Sanger.
Matthew Quantrill stated the Stoner Web Site was up and running, and had already recorded 18 hits which was slightly more than Mr Evans had had in 3 successive seasons. A player's Wives site was to be established and Quantrill eagerly awaited pictures, this some of the members found profoundly disturbing.
As bushes at the far side of the memorial pitch trembled testament to the migration of the Korean hordes the election of officers went ahead apace.
The President was re-elected with an amendment that it should be a lifetime appointment subject to annual re-election but not to extend more than 5 years after death, (as has so often been the case with Stoner Vice –Presidents).
Alison Wilcox (former Head) wished to step down as Vice-president and to be replaced by the new Headmaster Keith Budge.
Miss Wendy Sanger, who is to succeed the Bursar in due course, was elected as a Vice President subject to interview and report by the now very excited Mr Wicksteed.
It was recommended that next year all Vice-Presidents and founder members are sent W H Smiths "Wills" with their fixture cards to avoid any of them dying intestate, something that apparently only inflicts the older male members.
The following amounts were quickly distributed although the balance sheet suggested the Club was virtually bankrupt.
The latter, is to improve the Ben Bennett memorial Rose Garden (adjacent to the Pavilion) that had not been blooming well. A new Rose Garden Sub-committee was quickly established to put things right.
The feasibility of Stoner buying a horse to provide the necessary growth additive was discussed with no obvious conclusion.
The Flagpole sub-committee was asked to report on work in progress. The AGM was temporarily adjourned as a Flagpole fact finding mission was dispatched to inspect. They reported a lack of wind, an affliction that had lasted all week. It was suggested the improved Beer in the Harrow was to blame.
£20 and the Jim Atkinson memorial trophy went to Oly Perigo who appeared to be the only player under 21 and therefore eligible.
Champagne moment to Matt Evans for running out Oly while batting with his brother Julian Perigo for Steep, resulting in the Sicilian blood in the family coming to the fore with, blood curdling death threats and vendettas between the two brothers.
Derek Roberts won the low alcohol moment for (while umpiring) stomping off the pitch after being the subject of sledging by the opposition.
Extraordinary Points arising were then discussed.
With the arrival of the new Headmaster (a double blue from Cambridge (some members believing this to be some exotic Caribbean Cocktail)) the subject of a Bedales sports scholarship was discussed, it was felt the Bursar when he came to retirement may wish to put aside his Korean windfall to such a Bursary. Jack Evans as recent winner of the Rollo Wicksteed Cricket academy "Young Player of the Year" appeared the natural recipient the motion was seconded by Evans senior who wondered if an advance could be made available.
It was noted that Matthew Quantrill was now referred to as "Q", this appeared a new Stoner tradition, Matt Evans asked if he could be called "M", the Bursar stated he was already frequently referred to as a "B". The resolution was seconded by Kay who saw no problem and the resolution was carried by "R", "D", "C" and "b".
Q was asked to write to the new headmaster on a variety of subjects not related to cricket, Rollo and Jill Wicksteed apparently planned to have him "for Dinner" which does not bode well for Stoner Cricket Club in the 21st century
So with numerous Koreans appearing on all sides making the Tent appear more like a MASH unit the first AGM of the New Millennium was adjourned at 11,30am.