Stoner AGM 2011 A.D.
The 2011 AGM was held outside the marquee at some time around 10.00 on Friday July 29th 2011.
Present (at the start): The President, Mrs. S. Roberts, Mr. D. Roberts, Mr. S. Roberts, Mr. B. Roberts, Mr. C. Wilkinson, Mr. M. Evans, Mr. G. Taylor, Mr. B. Taylor, Mr. A. Britten and Mr. M. Quantrill
1) Mr. Britten tried to seize the chair before item 1, election of minute taker. Mr. Quantrill was elected as minute taker, while Mr. Evans and Mr. Wicksteed (in his absence) were elected minute makers, a subtly different role they have both performed with relish in their contrasting styles over the years.
2) Mr. Britten was then allowed to seize the chair.
3) Apologies: No one had apologised so far.
4) Minutes of the last meeting were read from the Secretary's notes, during which Mr. L. Goldsmith arrived (at 10.12) to a round of tutting and a debate on whether better late than never. No conclusion was reached.
5) Matters arising: The chairman noted the absence of Stoner Caps. D. Roberts said he thought this was a good thing.
Mr. R. Wicksteed then arrived (at 10.18). He was asked for the minutes, and offered a choice of 1999, 2001, 2008 or 2009. The meeting voted to hear minutes from 2001.
The caps debate then continued. Mr. Britten wanted an inquest into who had designed the original cap. Mr. Wilkinson said he had a big head and it was floppy. The Baty produced copy caps were felt not to be entirely accurate replicas of the originals. No progress was made.
No other matters arose. On debate over the minutes Mr. Wicksteed's were preferred in their absence.
a) President: Mr. Evans wanted to propose a jar of pickles. The remaining members proposed that the President be elected as President-For-Life to deprive Mr. Evans of his annual coup attempt.
b) Secretary: Mr. Quantrill was proposed and couldn't get out of it. It was noted that the match reports were appreciated by those who hadn't read them.
c) Team Secretary: Ben Seddon, having agreed to do the job last year, had eloped to Scotland. Paul Bradley had taken over. Mrs. Roberts strongly supported Paul, as she had appreciated the absence of moaning and groaning in the weeks running up to Stoner Week. Paul Bradley was elected, despite fears that he might flee to Wales.
d) Treasurer: Mr. Wicksteed had last year's report (in place of last year's minutes), Mr. Evans offered to produce next year's, and Mr. D. Roberts produced this year's. He proposed that tea costs be raised to £40 for the opposition, and the remaining fees remain unchanged. He reported that the finances were healthy and no bail out was required, despite an offer from Mr. Evans. On the contrary he proposed that the Club might consider lending money to Greece.
Mr. Goldsmith asked if being retired entitled him to an unemployed discount, but it was felt this should apply only to genuine OAPs, not to early retirees.
There was much appreciation for the typing and layout of the report. After much hesitation Mr. B. Taylor and Mr. Wilkinson proposed and seconded the report and Mr. D. Roberts was re-elected Treasurer with a vote of thanks.
e) Honours Secretary: Mr. Wicksteed had written to Amy Winehouse, in the mistaken belief that she was Lily Allen (an OB and a cricket fan). It was hoped the press had not got wind of this in view of her recent demise. Mr. Russell had been written to. There was a vote of thanks, and Mr. Wicksteed was re-elected, but warned that he may be relegated to a minor place on the fixture card to make way for Mr. Bradley.
f) Founder Members: Remained unchanged for a record breaking 77th consecutive year.
g) Vice Presidents: J. Elder removed on the grounds that he was deceased, generally recognised as almost the only way to lose any Stoner post. (Though even that is not always effective – see Founder Members.)
Mike Russell: Promotion to “Under Investigation” was discussed, but on the whole “In Waiting” was preferred.
Mrs. T. Evans was proposed and elected for many good deeds over the years. All were in favour bar one. No prizes for guessing who.
Mr. M. Evans was proposed, but opposed himself on the grounds that if he was elected then Mr. Wilkinson would also have to be elected. Mrs. Wicksteed was cited as proof that opposition was no bar to being elected (also true of other Stoner posts) and that refusal was impossible. However no one was prepared to second Mr. Evans, so he was not elected.
7) Fixtures: There was a discussion of the Forty Club.
At this point Mr. P. Bradley arrived, and assured the meeting that he had no plans to flee the country, received a vote of thanks and confirmed that he was aware that cricket should be played by teams of eleven.
The local Forty Club chairman Paul Whittle had been very apologetic at their failure to raise a side, but had enjoyed the cobbled together fixture and the Stoner set up so much that he was very keen to make amends, and promised to make every effort to sell this game to his members next year. It was decided to give the Forty Club another chance, though they may need to be re-named the Four Club.
There was discussion of a possible game with Gentlemen of Bedales, possibly as a double header with the school game. With few of the likely participants present at the AGM the meeting felt unable to decide on likely success and it was decided to put the idea out for debate over the winter.
8) Gifts: Gifts to Ground Staff, Tea ladies and Dave the catering man were agreed. It was agreed that the annual gift to the school could usefully be in the form of a donation to the Sam Banks Pavilion, the school's current fund raiser and obviously one very close to Stoner hearts. The Treasurer was left to work out the size of the gift at his discretion, and any private individual donations could also be passed on via Stoner.
At this point Cheese was raised by the Chairman. He was told it should be deferred to any other business.
a) Champagne Moment: Mr. Quantrill's catch against Barnes and Sam Roberts' six to win the game against Chris Vincents' XI were nominated. Mr. Evans also suggested Connor's caught & bowled of Adrian Hill. This gained approval on the grounds of its uniqueness and the likelihood that it would never be repeated. Despite protestations from Mr. Wilkinson he was awarded the Champagne. (As those who were present will doubtless recall the “uniqueness” and “unrepeatability” of this moment lasted less than 10 hours, Mr. Wilkinson taking another caught and bowled during the game against Ropley that very afternoon.)
b) Low Alcohol Lager Moment: Sam Roberts was nominated for multiple dropped catches, as were Dale Collins for a run out, Laurie Goldsmith for a dropped catch and Mr. Evans and Rudi Antrobus for an umpiring fiasco over double bouncing balls. The multiplicity and uniqueness of Sam Roberts dropped catches earned him the award.
c) Band Aid Award: Mr. Goldsmith was the leading nomination for the eponymous award, out of a sense of tradition, but also because having said at the start of the week that the criteria had to be injuries that caused players to miss games he had promptly injured himself and missed two games. Mr. Evans knee bandage had caused him to miss the whole week, though it was noted that it seemed to be swapping legs. Mr. D. Roberts was nominated for scalding himself with steam from the tea urn, a nomination that carried weight as it was made by Mr. Goldsmith, the expert in the field. However Mark Layton was given the award by universal acclaim, having made his first appearance at Stoner Week for many years only to leave almost before he had started with an apparently small scratch to his head that ended up needing hospital treatment. Astoundingly Mr. Goldsmith failed to win the trophy despite having picked up a genuine injury.
d) Duck Cup: It was noted that the opposition had had better ducks than Stoner, including a stumping first ball of the game in one match, and (still to come and unknown to the AGM) Ropley's star overseas batsman getting out first ball to Mr. Wilkinson. Numerous Stoner members had been dropped before scoring, but there had only been three actual ducks. Mike Truss had made one, but Nick Tier had made two, including one golden, so was the clear winner.
a) Barnes had made a complaint about umpiring attire, Mr. D. Roberts having been umpiring in red crocs. A rambling debate ensued, which included discussion of an umpiring coat hanging behind the loo door in Rozel, and Mr. Baty not producing an umpiring coat. Mr. Wicksteed also mentioned that he had been scouring beaches for six suitable pebbles. Mr. D. Roberts was censured.
b) Cheese: Stilton produced by Mr. Russell was felt to be paltry (not poultry). It was also noted that he had asked what date it was and discovered that it was his birthday. It emerged that he had been excluded from the cheesemakers and had bought a slice of cheese and cut it in to make it look like a round. He had also insulted Mr. Evans' pickles, which may have been the one point in his favour. Mr. Goldsmith was firmly told by the chairman that his opinion was not needed. (What the opinion is about is not recorded.) In the end the penalty decided upon was that Mr. Russell should lose his “in” and now simply be “waiting”. (This snippet buried in the minutes may or may not have been discovered in time to get into print!)
c) Child Protection: The chairman had been expelled from the school due to lack of CRB checking, despite his blatantly false claim to have one. Letter to be written to the school, to the head and with a copy to the Bursar, raising the issue and pointing out that the re-union visitors camp on Parents Day and that lack of facilities to stay at the school could jeopardise Stoner. (Mr. Evans and his pickles left the meeting at this point.) It was then thought that putting things in writing might be unwise, but Mr. Wicksteed and the President would speak to the head and see if an accommodation could be reached.
d) School game: It was a struggle to raise a team. It was decided that there should be a circular to discuss possibilities and find out what might attract more to play. Stronger opposition? A possible game against gentlemen of Bedales, perhaps on the Sunday as a double header? A social do in the evening? An evening at the Harrow? A game on a different weekend, to avoid Parents Day, so leaving more time and less pressure on school players? It was suggested that Jo Banks should be contacted and asked to circulate his OB team.
e) Golf: Had been spread out over several days this year. There were different faults with the various possible days, but the sense of the meeting was that Tuesday was the best day. The Chairman gave a lecture on organising a golf contest. Mr. Gordon has offered a round at his very exclusive club, provided players are properly attired. It was felt best that this should be a special treat for the real players, while the contest with the riff-raff should remain at Petersfield. Mr. Wicksteed recounted an occasion when he had sprung out of the bushes at Mr. Gordon, and suggested an organised party to leap out at him.
On that rather surreal note the meeting ended at 12.51.